Friday, December 14, 2007

Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, guess i'll sit at home alone?

Everything is horrible! I'm lonely as hell with no one to talk to, we're default on the mortgage, we can't pay any bills, I've been in a custody battle for 4 years that exhausts me, I'm about to have another baby and I'm uneducated so i can't even contribute an income without losing money every month, and I'm being sued for child support which i can't afford to pay and not have to file for a million different public benefits.

Even Goodwill is too expensive! According to the state, we make too much to get food stamps or any other benefits everyone else seems to get, so we're trying to live on $700/month when our mortgage is $1150 an our bills by themselves are $800...It used to be easier than this! We actually used to make enough to cover this and all of our other expenses..and then my DH took a job on salary, which was supposed to go up and up and up, and he never moved in the pay scale, despite the fact that he was promised it. And so there we were, struggling like we haven't struggled since our beginning days of ramen and liquid vitamins (the poverty diet, i called it) and this time, we have kids to care for. I just want to talk to someone! I want to cry about it to someone; ANYONE!

And that's when it hit me: I'm just one of several million people whose family is going down fast with no end in sight. I don't want to lose my house, but what can i do? I can't make any money to give to the cause and with so many others experiencing the same problem, it will be pretty difficult to reach out and get some help. We were lucky enough to renegotiate our loan and get a fixed rate of less than 6%.
And we are still coming up short, with no Overtime in sight. What i wouldn't give for OT pay!!!! That would be almost $15/hr! we may actually get by then, too bad DH isn't getting many calls to repair A/Cs in December.
He probably won't start picking up any overtime until may. that's six months away with the newest member of our family due in Jan, she'll be six months old before we can afford to have her. If we manage to keep the house. It may be easier to afford things when we live in our car, which should be sometime in February. We may be able to stretch it till march, If we don't eat anything.

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